A Guideline For Giving Away Your Independence: Don’t.

usurpation:

Do not rely on him
to keep you afloat.

Lungs fill with water
and there is no space for you.

He is not a boat,
and you will drown.

Do not rely on him
to keep you sheltered.

Skin chips away like paint
and his bones will crumble.

He is not a home
and you are already filled with the dust of those you once made love to.

Do not rely on him
to keep you warm.

New flames die down
or feed on you to burn brighter.

He is not your fire
and you will melt for all the wrong reasons.

(via geekagora)

"

The second time I overdosed,
my body couldn’t handle it,
and I threw it all up.
I texted my dad saying,
“I think I took a little too many pills”.

And every time I’ve overdosed,
I always downplay it.
I’ve always tried to act
like it wasn’t a big deal.

That having the urge to swallow a whole bottle of pills
was something daily that normal people do.
My dad hurried home and saw the empty bottle
and he shook me to make sure I was awake.
I kept mumbling “I threw it up.. I threw it up..”
while I was drifting off to sleep.
He had to wake me up every 15 minutes
to make sure I was okay.

Let me tell you now,
it is a big deal.

The third time I overdosed,
I slept through first and second period
and passed out in the counselor’s office.
I didn’t want to go to the ER.
I just wanted to go home.
All I wanted to do was sleep.
Again, I just said,
“I think I took too many pills this morning.”

The fifth time I overdosed,
my dad found the empty pill box.
I hallucinated, I had a fever.
I couldn’t move my legs.
All I could do was scream,
“Don’t take me to the hospital this time.
I don’t want to go!”

I became friends with a girl who had overdosed
she’s one of my best friends now
and when I heard she was hospitalized as well,
it just makes me realize how real this problem is.

A couple months ago, another friend of mine overdosed.
Do you realize how fucked up it is,
that I’ve done it so many times
that I know the exact procedure that she’s going to go through?
She messaged me saying,
“I took a bunch of pills,
but I just realized I didn’t want to die.
I don’t know what to do.
Help.”

And I’m screaming at her over the screen
that she should throw it up and call 911
because sometimes when someone you love
decides that they hate the world,
that’s all you can do.
You can’t teleport through the phone.
You can’t travel through the internet.
You can’t be there to hold them
and take them to the hospital.

Your love is not charcoal that can
absorb all their poison in their life.
I know, love that you would have done all you could.
Sometimes words aren’t enough.
Sometimes love isn’t enough.
Sometimes a person needs to try dying
to know that that’s not really what they want.
There’s nothing you could have done.
You’ve done all you could.
Just keep loving them.

But you see the thing is,
I got lucky.
I’ve made it back from 5 overdoses
without a scratch on me.
But that’s not always the case.
My favorite teacher’s stepdaughter
locked herself in her room and overdosed.

To this day,
her stepmother still has a scar on her heart.
To this day,
on the anniversary of her death,
her stepmother still stays home from school
on the anniversary of her death.
Her sister is in a bad mental state,
and so is her biological mother.
Her family has fallen apart.

You overdose because you think
you will get a peaceful release from death.
It’s not peaceful.
It is not like falling asleep.
It is convulsions, vomiting,
muscle spasms, fevers,
and sharp stomach pains.

An overdose is not instant.

Hollywood has you believing,
that an overdose
is how a lady should exit the world.
As quiet as she came in,
Peaceful and unnoticed.

You will go out kicking and screaming
and wishing you hadn’t taken them.

"

— 6:03 p.m. (I think I’m done overdosing)

(Source: expresswithsilence, via sundaysprettyicon)

  • jk rowling’s reasoning as to why fenrir greyback turned remus into a werewolf: remus’s father insulted him so he did it as an act of revenge

  • the actual reason greyback bit remus: the temptation to succumb to the fact that biting remus whose name literally means ‘werewolf’ would be the greatest feat in lycanthropic irony the world had ever seen

wetheurban:

PHOTOGRAPHY: Women by Cristóbal Escanilla

Santiago de Chile-based professional photographer and videographer Cristóbal Escanilla specializes in divine portraits of women mainly shot in analogue.

Read More

(via twistsoflemon)

hatfullofwhy:

You think you’re going to be hip and teen forever and then suddenly you find yourself drinking red wine and playing board games and lusting after men with beards 

(via loserwithswag)

Sitting in the city food court on my split shift break and a black French guy (I know I ought to not make skin colour or nationality a primary part of my observation about him as a person, but not knowing much, it is, however unfortunate)  comes up to me and starts chatting to me. He asks me what I do and where I’m from, I exchange the same pleasantries back, and we briefly discuss  the slow nature of Perth entertainment on public holidays. Then he gets to the point. He said he was with his friends and he saw a “beautiful girl sitting alone” and decided to come and talk to me, and says he’s very interested in me and would like to see me again. Things are… v. complex in my personal life at the moment but I said alright (and made them even more complex) He was very nervous, and didn’t know what to say to that. I don’t think he expected a yes. I prompted him… “Can I get your number?” He fumbled for a  moment then grabbed his phone out and got me to type my number in, then rang my phone.
Weird. Not feeling particularly attractive today and not wearing makeup, in a t shirt and jeans, v. casual. Attractive man in a nice collared shirt approaches me and picks me up. Self esteem boost but also a decrease in the level of my value for my judgement. Maybe I ought not to.

Sitting in the city food court on my split shift break and a black French guy (I know I ought to not make skin colour or nationality a primary part of my observation about him as a person, but not knowing much, it is, however unfortunate) comes up to me and starts chatting to me. He asks me what I do and where I’m from, I exchange the same pleasantries back, and we briefly discuss the slow nature of Perth entertainment on public holidays. Then he gets to the point. He said he was with his friends and he saw a “beautiful girl sitting alone” and decided to come and talk to me, and says he’s very interested in me and would like to see me again. Things are… v. complex in my personal life at the moment but I said alright (and made them even more complex) He was very nervous, and didn’t know what to say to that. I don’t think he expected a yes. I prompted him… “Can I get your number?” He fumbled for a moment then grabbed his phone out and got me to type my number in, then rang my phone.
Weird. Not feeling particularly attractive today and not wearing makeup, in a t shirt and jeans, v. casual. Attractive man in a nice collared shirt approaches me and picks me up. Self esteem boost but also a decrease in the level of my value for my judgement. Maybe I ought not to.

Tags: perth personal me

probablyharrison:

my grandma and great aunt have passed this card back and forth every birthday for almost 20 years

(via thegirlbehindscrawledletters)

samdigspoems:

Ten men women have warned me against becoming:

1.

The man who takes up too much space.
Whose legs need their own chair in
public spaces, who plays awful, shitty
guitar at parties, whose backpack
can’t touch his lap and must therefore
have its own seat on the bus
while senior citizens and…

kayleyhyde:

kateoplis:

I still work.

We all know that feeling, vending machine

kayleyhyde:

kateoplis:

I still work.

We all know that feeling, vending machine

(via itsvondell)

(Source: iraffiruse, via itsvondell)